Thursday, 28 August 2014

Invisible disability RANT

This post is going to be a rant from me. 

 A post about my opinions on the action of others.

If you didn't know my name is Samantha. I have some disability, I blog because its something that has captivated my attention and gives me something to do to pass the time. I don't really do much during the day as my disability keeps me from doing things.

I have a long history of Mental Illness for myself, but it is something that effects allot of members of my family. I was only diagnosed of being depressed when I was 21 years old.I should have been diagnosed very early in my life, I was bullied for pretty much most of y life for being overweight. I did poorly in school. I do have a history of self-harm and drug abuse. The counselling wasn't helping. They had said that I was too young to be depressed. I had started getting panic attacks while being a passenger in a vehicle. Then it progressed from not being able to be in a vehicle to being afraid to go outside. At this point in time, everyone around me was semi supportive. When I would try to go outside my body would seize, I would start sweating really bad then i would get tingling in my feet, my breath would start getting short. Millions of jumbled thoughts would go through my mind, I would literally think that I was dying. All of this just added more on top of the major depression that I was coping with. When I knew I had to be somewhere on a future date I would have problems sleeping, I would have random anxiety attacks. My anxiety started getting worse I was starting to feel out of body during attacks ( Depersonalization)

I went from being a spontaneous person who loved to be outside, I would take the train to downtown Calgary, AB. Almost every day. I interacted with people, I had many friends. I was a normal functioning person, and yearn to be that every day. Now I barely leave my it always Doctor and groceries.

If I hadn't wrote that no one would know my situation and my struggles. Or know that I don't want to live like this every day, no one should!

Yet people pass judgement "it's all in your head" or how could someone like you be considered disabled, it is a known fact that there are many stigmas to invisible disability, you can't physically see the person pain, or mental problems.

Angry, Steamed

Just because you don't see me freaking out while having a panic attack ( although sometimes i do go white) doesn't mean they aren't real, they aren't something you can control or stop, its years of coping with anxiety and being able to look calms so i don't draw attention to myself. Just because i look calm might be the narcotic anti-anxiety medication i'm on

The dirty looks I get when parked in the handicap spot, its despicable I already have social anxiety so when I hear you say "she doesn't look disabled to me, shame people take advantage of the system" When clearly my parking permit is posting in the windshield, I have the permit due to not being able to sit,stand or walk for long as my lower back has problems, I have to mentally PUSH myself to do my own grocery shopping, each time is mental exhausting. Most of the time I barely make it out without just leaving everything and getting out as quick as possible. Any other time i'm in a vehicle and we stop and I don't have to get out we don't use the disabled parking.

Another thing is the looks that my driver gets when I'm in the grocery store, he gets leered at, snorted at, sworn at. WHY? Because people have to make a judgment on a situation they know nothing about?

There are so many people who are in worse situations than me. People with invisible disabilities are already going through enough!!! Can't people just try to not pass judgment so quickly, we don't know any ones story, their background, what they go through each day. If you are having a bad day is it so hard to keep your negative comments to yourself?

I would like people to start really thinking before they comment out loud, if you don't understand something or you just hear information from others, investigate yourself!! I'm in a facebook group for people with anxiety and it was brought up that this girls mom just didn't understand, but he mom was added to the group and after seeing that many people go through the same things she started to understand. Knowing what's going on around you is a good thing, maybe if that woman who made the snide marks around me knew what anxiety or social anxiety is then maybe she wouldn't have been so quick to pass judgement and ruin my state of mind. You don't have to be arrogant to get your point across.  People actions hurt people.

There are so many people who suffer and put on a brave face, yet they get nasty looks and snide remarks thrown at them. not knowing what this person has to go through and the normalness that the person is seeing is a mask, under the mask is pretty ugly.

It really is hard to explain to someone an invisible disability, but you can help them get educated, send them to some groups you are part of, show them the information.

This is the end of my rant if you  go through this or know someone who has a comment below I would love to hear your stories.

Warning, meme

Wednesday, 27 August 2014

Kijiji VS Craigslist VS ?

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kijiji or craigslist or facebook


Everyone by now should know what Kijiji and Craigslist. Craigslist more due to some weird things happening on there. I have often wondered What is better? Kijiji or Craigslist.

Okay, So we will start with Kijiji.

It's a great site, you can find lots of things and as always its buyer beware. They have a free section. (usually ridden with people getting rid of their animals) You can find some great items and meet people. One of the things I find useful is the job section. The website is very easy to use if your buying or selling.

There is a downside, you have to email and wait for an email back. I had a situation where when I was browsing someone with a business had their ads posted all over (against the T.O.S of Kijiji) and when I nicely asked him to stop explaining that I have to go through pages of his business adds that are categorized.  He told me to get a life and things got heated up, He stalked my email and sent me messages about how he was going to ruin my life, He was a big A-hole. I found that Kijiji lets some people getaway with it and often it makes it suck to have to go through that to find what you searched for.

I won't go much into Craigslist I have always found it to be very confusing, people still use it but when I went to try to use it I just got really confused. Kijiji in my opinion way better. without all the creepiness. Their platform to me isn't very friendly and I have noticed at least for my area there isn't much posting, but lot's in the escort section.

NOW what if I told you that there is a better way to buy and sell and you probably use it often.

facebook logo

FACEBOOK....... Facebook groups have been exploding with buy and sell groups, I would imagine there would be one local to you, using Facebook is pretty decent you get to talk one on one with the person. You can kinda see who you are buying from. .You don't have to wait around for an email. I find that you get better results when you are selling ( As long as you add a picture and description) You can haggle prices and get some good deals. I had got an electric guitar, Guitar stand and amp for $25 Delivered. Sometimes you can catch the best deals on things that people won't even post on Kijiji. 

Another great thing about groups on Facebook is the free cycle groups that may be floating around for your area, Where I am there are free cycle groups and a group for mothers called Frugal Mom, it's amazing some of the items that are given away. Not only that you become part of an amazing community. People give away furniture, gift cards you name it!!

Try searching in Facebook. _______ free, frugal, free cycle. If you can't find one on your own why not create one? Its super easy to create a page and if you invite friends it will grow in time and you will have an active Facebook page. 

What is a Facebook page?

Facebook Pages enable Public Figures, businesses, organizations or other entities to create an authentic public presence on Facebook.  

Example: If you are a fan of True Blood, you can connect with the official Facebook page.

What is a Facebook Group?
Facebook Groups: Are the place for a small group communication. You have an option to make the group publicly available for anyone, or require approval for members to join, you can make it by invitation only. This is widely used to make buy and sell groups as its very easy to add admins. And the posts are easier to read, you can also create events. 

Where are you from and are you part of Facebook selling groups? What is your experience?

Wednesday, 20 August 2014

4 Natural Remedies for Anxiety

natural remedies for anxiety

Support Groups

Support from others often has a huge impact on us.There is no shortage of places to find support and encouragement most often free.Listening and seeing stories of others who have faced similar circumstances can comfort and inspire more confidence. They are everywhere you could always join a group on Facebook. or just Google support forums.


meditationMeditation causes more self-awareness. In the process of meditation, we become more aware of our thought processes and emotions and the responses we have to them. It is a way of taking control of our mental/emotional states, rather than allowing them to control us. there are many useful videos to help you get started on youtube. 


  Natural Supplements

Helps with stress,it is often used to prevent colds and flu and to increase energy.

Helps prevent panic attacks, kava Kava may cause drowsiness (should be taken under doctors supervision as it can lead to liver problems.

These help to calm the stomach and soothe. Ginger is always great for nausea.(can be used safely during pregnancy)

Fever few (used to prevent migraines,infertility,allergy's,asthma and upset stomach) 
Valerian root(alternative for sedatives like benzodiazepines)


aromatherapyAdd a few drops to a tissue for quick inhalation, or at night try a blend in the bath. Add a couple of drops each of Lavender, Sandalwood, and Chamomile to relax the muscles and clear the mind.

  1. Ylang Ylang
  2.  Neroli
  3.  Chamomile
  4.  Lavender
  5.  Sandlwood

Saturday, 16 August 2014

Friday Health Topic- Depression

Friday Health Topic- Depression

My personal story

This Fridays topic felts necessary after the passing of Robin Williams. As many of you know Robin Williams battled depression. He took his own life like many others worldwide that suffer from depression.

Depression isn't racist or sexist it can and does effect many.

conquering depression,meme


I personally have battled with depression my whole life, I was bullied all through school that attributed to my depression even today. When I was younger there wasn't much support for a 12-year-old. I was often told that I was too young to be depressed. Depression consumed my life, it played a role in the bad decisions that I had made. such as trying to loose myself in substance abuse. Self-harm and continuing to live in an unhealthy relationship (13-18)

There wasn't much support growing up, and having family issues already (two brothers with ADHD) my youngest brother was a handful and when we would go to counselling as a family attention was directed to my younger brother, even when they had me one on one it was always about my brother. I never really got the help that I needed.

I was loosing control, I was constantly doing drugs to numb the pain I was feeling inside. It wasn't until I found myself alone on my birthday, high on cocaine that I realized that I was better than the drugs I was pumping into my body. My parents had no clue what was going on as I tried to keep everything secretive.

When not doing drugs I was very sensitive emotional and I started self-harm. Often hiding it from everyone it was a way for me to feel or release what I was feeling inside. the scars will last a lifetime. I started to realize that I was just making myself uglier. I don't know how to explain how I stopped, but I started to appreciate my skin.

Many other things contributed to my adolescent depression such as poverty and family problems. As many that grow up with very little, know that its hard. Food isn't always there, having to wear ripped and unfitting clothing, being constantly bullied.

I got through the rough patch of my depression when I was finally diagnosed with having depression, unfortunately i started having panic attacks. I went to the hospital and was given a psychologist and anti-anxiety medication and depression medication. I started looking online more and reading stories and found that I'm not alone. I found that not being quiet about my depression helped. Talking always helps, airing out issues and gaining insight to what other people perceive your situation to be and offer solutions or support. I found that the medication was working, each day I felt better inside (it took time to find the right medication for me)

Anyone reading this, please if you think or are depressed please know that its nothing to be ashamed about. You should always find someone that you can freely and openly talk to when needed. If you need help please seek it. There are thousands of people that try to hide their depression. by being open about your feelings, you can feel a release within.I will be coming back to this subject with resources on how to overcome depression.

If you need help please seek it there are helplines that are for anyone, I will include some resources.

support, help, advice, assistance, guidance sign

blah therapy is a great website, you can anonymously vent to someone random or you can be the listener. I tested out this site and found it to be a hit and miss, but a great way to vent, the only downside is that you could be getting advice from someone very young.

daily strength Is a forum based website

psych central Forum based

*Search Facebook groups for depression, you will find allot, please read the rules before you enter to see if it's the right group for you. If you happen to know of a group please leave a link below.

depression kit

Sunday, 10 August 2014

Amazon Haul- Nail Art Supplies


Nail art supplies

I have been wanting stripers for so long, I don't know why I never got them sooner they seem to be a staple in the nail art group. they are known to help get those sharp and edgy designs. They came as presented, the shipping however took quite a bit of time. I was surprised at how inexpensive they were.
Nail Art Striping Tape Striper Line Decoration Set Kit of 10 Rolls By Cheeky If you click that link it will take you to amazon.ca, for 10 its .99cents with 1.50 shipping.

nail art from amazon stripes

 I have also wanted to get display sticks for a long time, now that my nail polish stash has grown so much I want to be able to see what colors I have easily and its a good way to pair colors. I didn't know that you could get these on amazon. When I put the order in for the stripers I figured why not look for something and I ended up getting two fan sticks each with 50. I think it was a decent buy. for 3.59 (each) free shipping. Fan Style Nail Art Tips 50 Stick Display Practice Tool

Now I will be able to pick out what polish I want to wear or compare colors, I haven't decided yet if I'm going to do it by brand or colors.

amazon haul, nail art supplies, swatch sticks and nail stripers

What are things that you want or need to buy to help along your polish addiction?

*Keep your eyes open I will be posting my swatch sticks and doing some art with the stripers.

Thursday, 7 August 2014

Friday Health Topic- Insomnia

Friday Health Topic- Insomnia
LAST WEEK-Generalized Anxiety

Insomnia is a common sleep problem for adults. roughly 30% of the general population complains of sleep disruption.
Insomnia -fungopolly.tumblr.com

I myself have Acute Insomnia i often am wide awake for days and passing out sometimes for longer periods then anyone should be. It effects my life greatly and impacts my life significantly when i start having insomnia. I do have anxiety and depression that would contribute to having insomnia. I find that people have this stigma that you should just sleep, they don't understand that when you are awake for 2 days with little or no sleep that you cannot function properly. I consider Insomnia to be one of the invisible disability's that people on the outside don't understand.

dark insomnia depressing pictureInsomnia can negatively impact every aspect of your life. Studies show that insomnia negatively affects work performance. It can impaired decision-making and often damages relationships. People with Insomnia report a overall worse quality of life.

Everyone has occasional nights of restlessness and poor sleep. In most cases this is due to an off sleeping schedule. this doesn't mean that you have insomnia, you just didn't get enough sleep.

People that are under stress or have certain medical and mental health problems are more common to have Insomnia.

There are two types of Insomnia based on duration. 

Acute Insomnia: Lasts for  short time, several nights up to 3 weeks and often goes away without needing treatment.

Chronic Insomnia:When the Insomnia  Lasts more then 3 weeks its considered chronic, nearly 1-10 people have chronic insomnia which usually requires some kind of treatment.

Symptoms & Causes

-Difficulty falling asleep
-Difficulty staying asleep throughout the night
-Waking up too early in the morning
-Poor quality of sleep,or feeling tired in the morning
-Tension, headaches or stomach aches
-Problems with attention, concentration & memory
-Medication side effects (over the counter medications, medicines that contain pseudophedrine, ant depressants and ADHD medications, high blood pressure or Parkinsons disease can cause Insomnia)

In some cases people turn to alcohol and sleeping pills that are often common causes of insomnia, alcohol can cause frequent awakenings.  You can build up a tolerance to sleeping pills fast and insomnia occurs when stopping.

Self-help Tips to try when insomnia strikes

1.Avoid caffeine late in the evening( both can increase nighttime urination)

2. Don't eat dinner to late, your body needs time to digest food before you sleep.

3.Too little vitamin B in your diet may contribute to insomnia, try to eat a healthy diet that includes B vitamin rich foods (grains,yeast extract,fish and green vegetables are rich in vitamin B)

4.Try wearing ear plugs and an eye mask, if you live around allot of noise and light (especially for shift work)
Stanley RST-63008 Low Pressure Foam Earplugs 80-Pack Tube (Yellow/Pink)

5. Establish a consistent bedtime routine (walking,meditation,bath) Try to go to sleep at the same time every night and wake up at the same time.

6. Exercise, people who are active sleep better then couch potatoes

7.White noise - You can buy a device to block out surrounding environmental noise.( i personally use a fan)
HoMedics SS-2000-F3PK-CA Sound Spa Relaxation Sound Machine with 6 Nature Sounds, Silver

 8. Melatolin (natural sleep aid, its a hormone that regulates the wake/sleep cycle and other daily biorhythms, i take the sublingual tablets that are placed under the tongue 5mg )
Jamieson Melatonin 5mg Fast Dissolving Tablets 100 Count
Jamieson Melatonin Dual Action Time Released Sleeping Aid, 10mg, 60 Count

ALWAYS contact your doctor when symptoms arise, never stop/start taking medication unless under the watch/approval of your doctor, even vitamins should be brought up to your family doctor.

Interesting information about insomnia
This Drink Will Help You Fight Insomnia
CBT for persistent insomnia - $320 Toronto
National Sleep Foundation
Examining the Association between Insomnia and Bowel Disorders

68% Adults ages 18 to 29 report symptoms of Insomnia
59%% of adults aged 30-64 
44% 65+
parents report more insomnia symptoms than adults without children. (66 vs 54%)

Saturday, 2 August 2014

FRIDAY HEALTH TOPIC- Generalized Anxiety

Friday Health Topic

Generalized Anxiety

Yes i know im behind in my Friday posting, i felt a little under the weather, but im back and only one day behind, not to shabby.

Todays Health Topic is Generalized Anxiety, last week i had posted about social anxiety, i figured this would go hand in hand and better explain both.

Generalized anxiety effects alot of people, its the evil monster in most of our lives, like that dark cloud in cartoons that just follows us around raining and storming while we watch other people have fun in the sun.

Everyone at one point in their life has had anxiety, for some of us its something that sticks mentally, others often don't understand because they  were so easily to get past the feeling. i have often been told "its all in my head" Anxiety falls under the invisible disabilitys, people cannot see how it effects your mind and body on a daily basis. If the option to just shun the thoughts we have we would all be fine. It's not like those of us who suffer from this want to live in fear daily.


Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)
GAD affects 6.8 million adults, or 3.1% of the U.S. population.
Women are twice as likely to be affected as men.

Signs and Symptoms

People with GAD cant seem to get rid of  their concern, even though they usually realize their anxiety is more intense then any situation warrants.

-Hard time relaxing
-Startle easily
-Difficulty concentrating
-Trouble falling asleep

Physical symptoms

-Muscle tension/achs
-Felling out of breath

If you think you have Anxiety the first person you should contact is your doctor, if anxiety is diagnosed the next step is often seeing a mental health professional.

In most cases every route has been exhausted medically, taking medications that don't work. You should never stop taking any medication you are on, please go see your doctor if medication you are on isn't working or voice concerned to the pharmacy.

You can skip past this part if you want its going to be my experience.

I moved to Ontario from Calgary, to be with someone and everything was going great, until one day i felt like i had to throw up all the time, i felt so ashamed, while driving around wanting to scream STOP so i could get out and be to scared to throw up. This is when my anxiety started, i didn't even know what anxiety was or how it effects the body. I chalked it up to just a bad day and a upset stomach, the next day i was experiencing the same things but this time i didn't have to throw up i felt like i was literally going to die. I was pale white, and sweaty and just wanted to escape to a safe place, I started staying home. I was living with my boyfriends parents (while we found our own place) I felt pressure everyday, none of them understood and often got upset as i couldn't leave  the house without feeling really sick.

I had finally had enough, i went to a doctor and explained to him what was going on, he gave me some medication and off i went, i remember feeling like i was on the cloud and every couple of minutes there was a big storm inside that could, the medication was making me feel worse!! AHH

So off to the hospital i went, (emergency) i had finally had enough, they had someone from mental health come see me and changed up my medications.

I was feeling better but the worst was to come i started having really bad attacks and Depersonalization. My new doctor where i am now doesn't see anxiety as something real, he wont refer me to the program at the hospital for CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Thereapy) Right now im taking medication to help ease my anxiety. i still limit myself on when i go out and when i interact with people. I'm currently taking Cymbalta and lorazapram for depression/anxiety.

I have found that by pushing myself that i have come further each time, leaving to go to the corner store, staying in town, A couple weeks ago i even went to the beach!!! this is a huge improvement for myself, i had my anxiety medication in my pocket just incase and didn't need it that day.

To anyone who doesn't understand think of it like this.

You constantly worry about everything, always thinking what if?  In every situation you find something that might go wrong. When you find yourself in a compromising position you start to sweat, your heart beats really fast, your feet go numb. These all feel REAL as you are experiencing them.

It's important to remember that the symptoms or anxiety cannot kill you, no one has ever died from having a panic attack, in most cases where people feel like they are going to faint usually don't. Please understand that when someone is having a panic attack do not suggest its only in their head,it only makes the person think more and feel that what they are feeling is wrong.

There are many ways to help someone you love.

-By googling and reading all the information you want about GA
-By joining facebook support groups or online forums

Friday, 1 August 2014

Re-manufactured Ink Cartridge Review

Printers are expensive, i know many of you reading this are either rolling your eyes or nodding in agreeance. When you purchase a printer the ink cartridge that it comes with is not full. They are usually filled half way.

So if you are anything like me, you get your printer set it all up. Kind of going overboard with some printing at first and then you find that you are already low on ink in matter of days. You shake your fist and think wow i didn't really get much.

Then when you go look at the Manufactures website for a refill or even in store you find out that the color cartridge alone is more then or close to what you paid for the printer. WHAT!?!?

I find this creates a problem,  you can wait and just buy a new printer, or you can dish out money for that expensive ink. I have to admit that i would just buy a new printer, usually gifting my old one to someone who is willing to pay those high prices.

Recently i had a printer gifted to me, its a Cannon Pixma 3520.
If you read my previous posts, i have been working with 123INKCARTRIDGES.

I was skeptical about using re manufactured ink. i had read so many bad reviews on amazon (when i was looking for another model printer) One of the main complaints is that the printer doesn't read the cartridge.

After voicing my opinions to 123INK they had mentioned this

"Usually we do receive complains, however, up to 75% of it the problem could be fixed manually, sometimes customers did not remove the plastic plug, sometimes clients order the wrong model, but most of the case we managed to taking care of it, and if we don't then we will return as full refund that is not a problem."

I love this company so much!!

They sent me

Right away i got into the Re-Manufactures cartridge as i already used to OEM one that came with the printer, i have to say i'm impressed as i was inserting it i have to admit i had doubts, i snapped it in and was ready to go, everything was working fine. I would recommend that people choose this option first before going to the OEM products. Not only will it save you money but its worth it.

©Suzanne Woolcott sw3740 Tema diseñado por: compartidisimo